So a few weeks ago Kanye “Imma let you finish” West announced to the world that he will be running for president in 2020. I can only assume he means running to the shop for Hillary’s breakfast cereal, because god knows how he is making money from his “Music”.
Nevertheless, Kanye got us thinking about other crazy Presidential candidates. Now, where can we find a pool of people of with outlandish personalities, scandal, celebrity status and leadership skills?! Of course…the little world that we call: the NFL.
Peyton should have retired at the end of his last Superbowl loss. There, I said it. The old man doesn’t have the arm to be in the league, I rate him on my own personal QB scale in the bottom third. So what better use is there for one of the best team managing QBs of all time than being the president.
We already know he’s a great speaker and can rally a nation together for a single cause by giving great TV speeches – just ask Papa Johns.
It should only be a small step from leading one of the worst offenses (so far) in recent memory to President, which makes the timing all the more perfect.
If you want a president that isn’t going to follow the Geneva convention, then we’ve got just the guy. Don’t let the judge convince you otherwise, Brady was involved in deflating those balls.
There is nothing better for building up interest in a presidential candidate than a scandal, and boy does Brady have a whole bunch of that. Just look at Donald “God damn Mexicans” Trump, despite the fact that he is insane and not suitable to be a janitor in the White House, he is still the Republican front runner because of his scandals.
Deflate Gate will be talked about for years to come so expect Brady to use this as motivation to arrive at the White House in 2020.
Andy gets honourable mentions for his work during the regular season … I mean … Party representative vote. But he always seems to miserably fail to get through the post season, sorry, the election. Alas, despite Dalton’s best efforts to be the leader of the Bengals he will never get to DC.
He may not be a great leader, but you will hear about everything he does and everything that has been said to him. A leader with strong words and a strong game, his presence would always be felt no matter what event he was attending. Even better, imagine a UN conference where North Korea are being called out as Mediocre. Best president in the game people!
Well Chip Kelly has been providing a lot of confusion, bringing new ideas to a samey NFL. Sure it failed but the innovation makes us think he will be a great leader. Lord knows what policies he would bring to the American people, but you know it would be so radical that it might just work. At the start people will see it failing and criticise, but all the experts know it will end up working in the end.
If you are always asking, why are there no mullets in politics? Then do we have the man for you. Jared Allen, the all American hero, hunting animals with nothing but a spear and a mullet is the true symbol of what it means to be American. A true representation of the modern American man; who wouldn’t vote for President Allen? The real answer to that question is no one, but we like this idea enough that we feel he should be kept in the running.